One of the things I love about helping people is the way many of my clients push me to think outside the square to help find a solution to their problem.
Through doing this I have had many BFO’s (Blinding Flash of the Obvious).
Here’s an example of one.
“Henry” (not his real name) was explaining how bad his anxiety was and how no-one to date had been able to help him. He was suffering both emotionally and physically.
When I asked him what the Ideal state was that he wished to achieve, he stated, “I’m not sure. I just know I don’t want to feel anxious”.
“So, if you could wave the magic wand, how would you like to feel?”
“All I know is that I don’t want to feel anxious”.
Can you see what Henry’s problem is?
He is not telling me what he wants. He is only focusing on what he doesn’t want.
There is a good chance you could be doing this in some area of your life.
The Problem Drives You
Here is the key thing to remember:
When you focus on what you want or don’t want, you receive what you want or don’t want.
When you are feeling sick, it is easy to focus on how sick you feel, to constantly talk about it and answer questions about it. Questions like “How are you feeling?”
This continues to drive you into the Sick corner.
Place yourself in a room without much furniture. Label one corner “Sick” and the opposite “Healthy”.
Most people ‘try’ and get out of the Sick corner. To show what they are doing, stand in the sick corner facing it. Now, reverse yourself out of it while continuing to look at it. It doesn’t matter how far you go, you still see the Sick corner.
It’s like driving a car whilst looking out the rear window. If you were to do this (suggest you don’t), what’s going to happen?
You will travel very slowly and have many accidents.
This is what happens to many in life. They go very slowly and are forever hitting obstacles.
They are forever sick, can’t lose weight, can’t make that sale, can’t find more time, are constantly poor, always complaining and are unhappy. Maybe you know someone like that ☺
If you have no idea of where you are going (what you want), you will return to the default program of what you don’t want.
It’s much easier to drive a car whilst looking out the windscreen. You can see where you are going and can determine your speed.
You have a starting point and a specific end point – like driving from the supermarket to your home.
Focus on where you would Ideally like to be in life and drive yourself to that point.
To get there, you must first specifically know where you are driving too.
Going on holidays, you not only determine the place you are going to, you also determine where you will be staying. You are definite – and need to be if you want your accommodation guaranteed.
If you have no idea where you are going and there is nothing booked, there is a great chance you will end up back home in a few days.
Henry needs to focus on being “Calm, relaxed and in control”. He needs to focus on what it takes to arrive at this point (the map he is going to use).
Jane, where are you lacking direction?
Where are you struggling in life, be it with:
• Your work?
• How you feel?
What is it you would Ideally like to achieve? Be specific.
Write your answers down, paint them or put together some photos that you can constantly look at.
Congratulations. You are now driving in a new direction.