Controlling Person

 

Do you like to control others?

You may be surprised to find out you are.

Yes, nearly everyone is a control person to some degree.

Some people take this to an extreme and are labelled a “Control freak”. They have to know what is going on and control others to get what they want.

I often see them in relationships where they can dictate:

* What clothes their partner wears.

* Where their partner goes.

* Who their partner speaks to.

* Who their partner calls and emails.

* What their partner eats.

* Who is allowed to visit.

The control freak feels so insecure, the only way they can feel secure is to totally know what their partner does and ensures there is no risk of someone taking them away.

They know their partner can find someone better so they try to isolate them as much as possible.

You may even know people like this.You may even be thinking you are not a control person.

Let’s delve deeper.

 

Guidance V’s Control

There is a difference between “Guidance” and “Control”.

Most people cross the line.

Let’s start with control.

If you suggest someone does something and they don’t – if you get upset because they haven’t or you continue to push them to do it – it is control.

For example, if you were to say “I have found this great course that I’ve learnt so much from. You are mad if you don’t do it”.

In other words, if someone pushes you into doing something, that is a form of control. They are trying to control you.

Most people do this by explaining how you will get into trouble or be worse off if you don’t do what they want. They even put the “guilt’s” on you. They pressure you into doing what they want you to do.

Guidance, on the hand, is making an offering.

For example, if you were to say “I have found this great course that I’ve learnt so much from. Have a look and see if it is for you”.

No pressure. No degrading if you don’t do it. No guilt’s.

Here it is. If you like it, do it. If you don’t, that’s fine.

Where do you control?

Where do you put the pressure on people to do what you think they should be doing?

Every one does this to some degree.

Change from “Control” to “Guidance”.

Give the information and let others determine what is best for them.

 

 

 

 Phone: 02 6921 6373   Email: info@clivemurphy.com   Address: P.O. Box 2421, Wagga Wagga NSW 2650 Australia