There are a lot of things that can hold you back from feeling positive and achieving what you desire in life.
Here are five of them:
1. Dwelling on the Negative.
This occurs when something goes wrong. You begin to focus on what is going wrong and give it negative energy. This is often referred to as ‘stewing on things’.
Over time, you get more upset with what you are stewing on.
Another example of this is ‘worry’. You begin to focus on what can go wrong and give it energy.
You become more negative and even cynical over time.
2. Pessimistic Thinking
This is similar to “Dwelling On The Negative”.
Here you focus on what is going wrong, what is not working, how bad things, how poorly you are performing, how poorly others are performing are and what can go wrong.
When you focus on the negative, you find more negative. You can dig yourself an emotional hole that is difficult to get out of.
3. Having Unrealistic Expectations
You fall into this group if you are a perfectionist (everything has to be perfect), what you want to achieve is not achievable, good enough is never good enough or you are all or nothing (you are either well or you are not – there are no shades of grey).
It’s everyone else’s fault. You blame people, the Government and things for your problems and the way you feel.
Doing this will lead to you feeling more frustrated as nothing is going to change. Your happiness becomes dependent on who or what you are blaming fixing the problem. Good luck with that happening ☺.
5. Beating Yourself Up
This means blaming yourself for what is happening. “It’s my fault the car broke down”. “It must be my fault my friend didn’t enjoy the party”.
This can also mean negative self-talk. “I’m an idiot”. “How could I be so stupid?” “I’m nothing but a moron”. All these devalue who you are and make it harder for you to achieve the result you are seeking.
To overcome worry, you can either fix it or you can’t. If you can, do so. If you can’t, place it on hold as to such time that you can.
If you dwell on things, change your focus to the positive. What is going right? What do you have? What is something positive to come from this?
This also works for pessimistic or negative thinking. Find the positive and focus on that.
Set goals you can achieve or that extend you. Let go of the need to be perfect. When you have to be perfect you are chasing approval. Who do you need to approve of you?
Find the ‘grey’ area. ‘All or nothing’ thinking will drive you nuts. Accept you are half well and focus on slowly improving your health until you are totally well.
Blaming never achieves a new result. Take ownership for what is happening in your life. Even if someone is to blame for what is happening, take ownership for what you can do to fix it for you. For example, someone has put a dent in your car. You can find out who did it, get a quote to have it repaired, knock it out yourself or leave it.
Cease degrading yourself. Make an agreement with yourself to be kind to you. You will not improve your life if you continue to beat yourself up. What purpose does it serve? You will only feel worse because of it.
Five things that you can do to improve your life and be a better person.