One of the most common negative emotions I encounter when counselling/coaching people is “worry”.
I often hear people say “I am a real worrier”.
They worry about their children, work, income, health, what others think, how they will perform and how things will turn out.
Worry takes up a lot of time and uses much energy. It can cause you to feel emotionally low, fearful and it can stop you from sleeping.
A worried mind is a fearful and troubled mind. You can worry about something for hours, days weeks and even years. This has a huge impact on how you feel and your health. A common phrase is “You will worry yourself to death”.
Jane, are you a worrier?
Take a moment to list the things you currently worry about. It is important to do this as you can only change what you recognise.
When you worry, you are fearful about an outcome. You worry whether you have made the right decision or how your children will do in their exams. You worry about having enough money to pay the bills or whether your partner is being faithful to you.
Your mind keeps thinking about and dwelling on the negative state. It keeps asking “What if …?” questions. “What if we have to sell the house?” “What if I do have something wrong with me?” “What if the kids get bullied?”
The more you dwell on it, the more worked up you become and the worse you feel.
Statistics show 90% of the things you worry about never come to fruition.
Given this, you can see worry is a useless emotion.
Not only is it useless, a second destructive thing takes place.
The Law Of Attraction.
This simply says “What you think is what you get.”
What you focus on is what you attract into your life.
If you worry about being sick, the key word you are focusing on is ‘sick’ and you release ‘sick’ chemicals into your body.
Abraham sums it up beautifully:
“Worrying is using your imagination to create something you don’t want.”
When you worry about something, you can either change it or you can’t.
If you can change it, do so.
If you can’t, place what you are worrying about on hold until such time as you can change it.
A client consulted with me because he was worried about losing his job. The boss told all employees that 20 of them were going to be made redundant in 6 months. He was worried he would be one of them. He had all these questions: “What will I do?” “Who will want to employ me?” “What if I can’t get a job?” and “What will I do when the money runs out?”. He kept worrying about how his family would survive.
Can he fix this?
Yes. One option is to begin looking for another job. This way he is being proactive and taking control of his future. He is doing something about the problem. If he gets a job, he is still employed and earning money.
If he feels he cant fix the problem because he chooses to wait to see if he is one of the 20 to be made redundant, then he has to put this on hold until he finds out. He may even choose to see how easy it is to get a job so he then knows what decision is best for him.
Simply worrying about what is going to happen is not going to produce a new result. Dealing with it, will.